What If I Had Cracked PMT Some Years Ago? Is It OK To Give Up?

This week is a story of my failure... the failure that set me on the path I was meant to be on. Are you one of those who feel ashamed or embarrassed when you hear the word 'failure'? I feel none of these, not at all, because people succeed when they learn to make each failure a step on their ladder of success and climb up with the help of lessons learned on each step. I too gave up on something I once really wanted and I am happy that I chose to give up.

So, this question was posted in my Instagram "what should I blog about" question sticker by my friend who has known me since I was preparing for Pre-medical entrance tests (PMT). I don't know how many of you know this but there was a time when I wanted to become a doctor. Surprised? I don't know why but it seemed unrealistic to me back then. I was not passionate about it; it just did not stir my soul when I imagined myself as a doctor. Nevertheless, I wanted to 'be' something in my life and becoming a 'doctor' seemed a logical choice.

Destiny has different plans for me. The colleges I had cracked PMT for, my family didn't agree to send me there; the one that wasn't far away, some other obstacle occurred and it kept happening until I saw that God was not 'not answering' my prayers, He was denying them. It was never a prayer from the heart even. Just a stubbornness. When I realised that, I gave up. And strange but, I felt free.

The day I decided to give up, I went online and ordered a bunch of books from Amazon. I had all the time in the world now because I had chosen what I always wanted—study from home (C'mon, I hate school and college so much). Okay, so one of those books was The Secret and that book—that one book changed my whole perspective towards life. I didn't even know it was a self-help book; I just ordered it because once a friend had said it was their favourite book and I wanted to read what's in it. Who knew it would become my favourite as well. My life began taking a positive, happier turn.

Leaving the so-called dream of becoming a doctor behind was like breaking shackles and setting myself free. Now when I look back, I realise that it was not even a dream, it was stubbornness; it was ego that was depressing me and not letting me give up.

If I had cracked PMT that year, I would not have been writing this post; I would never have known any of you (my reading and writing community) and you would have never known me; I would have been sitting depressed in some classroom of some medical college 'cause it would have been consuming my soul like a dementor; I would not have been helping people heal through words—without any side-effects; I would not have been Author Shilpa Goel who loves God but Dr Shilpa Goel who keeps complaining to God.

See, doctors need patience (besides patients), I have some patience resembling a grain of sand. Doctors need emotional stability, I am an emotional mess. God knows me better than I do, and I was saved and so were the people who would have been my potential-patients if I had been a doctor. Thank God!

I respect everyone who takes that route because it's as tough as it sounds. Maybe, it was my destiny to be more useful for people through words than scalpels and pills. 😁

If you want to know my story as a writer, you may read it on yourdreamtale.com: Was It Destiny Or More?