Meetlife Journals

I read Harry Potter for the magic.

At least, I thought I did.

When you're younger, you remember Hogwarts. The moving staircases. The Great Hall. Chocolate Frogs. Quidditch. The fact that somewhere in the world there could possibly be a letter waiting to tell you that your ordinary life isn't quite as ordinary as you thought.

But when you come back to the Harry Potter books as an adult, you start noticing completely different things.

You notice how lonely Harry was.

You understand Molly Weasley differently.

You realise that some of the bravest characters weren't necessarily the strongest ones.

And somewhere between Dementors, Horcruxes and Defence Against the Dark Arts, you realise that these books taught us quite a lot about ordinary Muggle life too.

Here are 15 Harry Potter lessons that stayed with me long after I finished the books.

1. The Family You're Born Into Isn't the Only Family You Can Have

Harry begins his story in a house where he is tolerated rather than loved.

And then he finds the Weasleys.

I think that's one of the most beautiful parts of the entire series.

They don't formally sit Harry down and announce that he's now part of their family. It happens quietly.

There's another Christmas present.

Another seat at the table.

Another person worrying whether he's eaten.

Another place he knows he can return to.

Sometimes family is given to us.

Sometimes we find it.

And sometimes love makes room for one more person without ever needing to explain itself.

2. Your Choices Matter More Than Your Potential

Harry and Voldemort actually have uncomfortable amounts in common.

Both lose their parents young. Both grow up without knowing much about the wizarding world. Both discover extraordinary abilities within themselves.

And yet they become completely different people.

That's one of the recurring ideas throughout Harry Potter.

What you're capable of doesn't determine who you become.

What happened to you doesn't completely determine it either.

Eventually, you choose.

Again and again.

And those small choices slowly become your character.

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3. Being Afraid Doesn't Mean You Aren't Brave

Neville Longbottom might be one of the best examples of this.

He isn't introduced as fearless.

Quite the opposite.

He's nervous. Forgetful. Awkward. Intimidated by people.

And yet, when courage is actually required, Neville repeatedly finds it.

That's a much more useful definition of bravery than never being scared.

Sometimes courage looks like being absolutely terrified and doing the right thing anyway.

4. Intelligence Is Powerful, but It Isn't Everything

Hermione can solve problems the others wouldn't even know how to begin solving.

But Harry Potter never treats intelligence as the only thing that matters.

Hermione needs Harry and Ron.

Harry needs Hermione and Ron.

Knowledge matters.

So do instinct, loyalty, kindness, humour, courage and knowing when your friend needs you more than they need another clever answer.

Being the smartest person in the room doesn't automatically make you the wisest.

5. The People Everyone Overlooks May Surprise You

Neville.

Luna.

Dobby.

Even Hagrid, in his own way.

Harry Potter is full of characters other people underestimate.

And some of them become incredibly important precisely because they possess qualities nobody thought to value.

It makes me wonder how often we decide what someone is capable of before they've even had the chance to show us.

People aren't always impressive in obvious ways.

That doesn't mean there isn't something extraordinary there.

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6. Kindness Is Never Really Small

Harry freeing Dobby begins with a sock.

That's it.

One sock.

A tiny object that completely changes another being's life.

There are much bigger acts of heroism throughout the books, but I've always loved what this represents.

We don't always know what our kindness means to someone else.

The thing you barely remember doing may be something another person remembers for years.

7. Grief Doesn't Follow a Straight Line

Harry loses people throughout the series.

And the books don't pretend that grief disappears once enough pages have passed.

It changes.

It resurfaces.

Sometimes it becomes anger.

Sometimes longing.

Sometimes Harry wants to talk about the people he's lost, and sometimes he can't bear to.

That's quite true to life.

You don't simply finish grieving someone.

You learn to carry their absence differently.

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8. People Are More Complicated Than Good or Bad

This becomes much clearer as the books progress.

James Potter isn't quite the flawless father Harry imagined.

Dumbledore has a past Harry never expected.

Snape can be cruel and still be capable of extraordinary loyalty and sacrifice.

Harry himself makes mistakes.

Growing up often means discovering that people rarely fit perfectly into the boxes we created for them.

Someone can love deeply and still hurt people.

Someone can have admirable qualities without being admirable in every way.

Understanding someone's complexity doesn't require pretending their flaws didn't exist.

9. You Don't Have to Fit In to Belong

Luna Lovegood never seems particularly interested in convincing everyone else that she is normal.

And I love that about her.

People laugh at her.

They dismiss her.

She remains Luna.

Eventually, the very things that make her strange to some people are part of what makes her such a wonderful friend.

There is something incredibly freeing about reaching the point where you stop editing yourself to become easier for everyone else to understand.

10. Love Isn't Always Loud

Some of the strongest love in Harry Potter appears in incredibly ordinary ways.

Mrs Weasley knitting Christmas jumpers.

Hagrid worrying about Harry.

Hermione staying.

Ron coming back.

People showing up when things are frightening and inconvenient.

We often imagine love as grand declarations.

But a lot of real love looks more like:

I remembered.

I came.

I saved you a place.

You're not doing this alone.

11. Power Reveals People

The Ministry of Magic is one of the most interesting parts of Harry Potter when you reread the books as an adult.

Not every dangerous person looks like Voldemort.

Some have respectable titles.

Some sit behind desks.

Some insist they're simply following rules.

Dolores Umbridge is terrifying precisely because she wraps cruelty in politeness, bureaucracy and pink cardigans.

Power doesn't automatically corrupt everyone.

But it can reveal what someone is willing to do when they believe nobody can stop them.

12. Sometimes the Right Thing Is Unpopular

There are long stretches where Harry knows something other people don't want to believe.

People mock him.

Newspapers discredit him.

Even people who should know better choose the more comfortable explanation.

That's another lesson that feels much more relevant as an adult.

Truth isn't decided by how many people agree with you.

And doing what you believe is right becomes considerably harder when nobody is applauding.

13. Asking for Help Doesn't Make You Weak

Harry has a frustrating habit of trying to carry things alone.

Understandably so.

But over and over again, the story reminds us that he survives because people help him.

Hermione researches.

Ron stays beside him.

Dumbledore guides him.

Dobby intervenes.

Neville fights.

Luna understands.

Harry may be the Chosen One, but he never actually wins alone.

Neither do most of us.

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14. Happiness Can Exist Alongside Hard Things

This is something Harry Potter does beautifully.

The world can be dangerous and there can still be Christmas dinner.

Someone can be grieving and still laugh.

There can be a war coming and teenagers will still fall in love, argue with their friends and worry about school.

Life doesn't neatly separate itself into happy chapters and sad chapters.

Sometimes joy appears right in the middle of something difficult.

You don't have to wait until everything is perfect before you're allowed to enjoy what's good.

15. What Ultimately Matters Is How You Treat People

For a world obsessed with blood status, magical ability, famous names and powerful families, Harry Potter ultimately keeps returning to something much simpler.

How do you treat people who have less power than you?

How do you treat people who can't give you anything?

How do you behave when being kind costs you something?

Some characters spend the entire series trying to prove that they are superior.

The characters we remember most fondly rarely need to.

And maybe that's the biggest lesson Harry Potter left me with.

A person's worth has very little to do with how important they can make themselves appear.

Maybe That's Why We Keep Coming Back to Harry Potter

I don't think we return to these books only because we miss Hogwarts.

Although, to be fair, I would still very much like my letter.

I think we return because different parts of the story find us at different ages.

As children, we wanted the magic.

As teenagers, perhaps we understood the friendships.

And as adults, suddenly we're noticing the parents, the grief, the choices, the complicated people and all the quiet ways someone can love another person.

The books haven't changed.

We have.

And maybe that's one of the loveliest things about rereading a book you grew up with.

You get to meet the story again.

But you also get to meet the person you've become since you last read it.

For the journal lovers: If putting things on paper helps you feel a little more like yourself again, take a quiet little detour to MeetLife Journals and explore our personalised Identity Journals.